Famous Cheese on Toast recipes
I wrote this ages ago, but it's been a very busy week.
Mrs Beeton: Bake 2 loaves bread. Slice thinly 4lb strong Cheese and toast over a hot fire.
Delia Smith: A lot of people are scared of cooking cheese on toast, but it really couldn’t be simpler. Firstly, you should buy some cheese and bread. Remember to bring both of them home from the supermarket. Then, carefully cut both the cheese and the bread into neat slices, although you will often find nowadays that the bread is already sliced! The slices of cheese should ideally be thinner than the slices of bread. Next, put the cheese, flat side down, on the bread, grill and serve.
Nigel Slater: Nothing more begs to be fallen upon and devoured than a jagged lump of Cortina or Spinbola seared onto really crisp grilled bread. Insist on the best. I buy my cheese from Jaqueline Singe of La Moisie in Hartlepool and my bread from Stantio’s of Oban. For pity’s sake don’t use any of the crap they sell where you live. Toast the bread in a cast-iron griddle, put the cheese on top, and then mix it with four pints of cream.
Nigella Lawson: The essential trick, that will make your toast ooze with chin-dripping salty cheddariness, is to give it a quick blast in a brick kiln. (Yes, yes, I hear you whingeing about the expense, but is it really too much trouble to have a small extension built, or convert a squash court?)
Tear open a packet of yielding bread with your fingernails – sliced white is fine if you’re a working mum like me – crumble a rough handful of any old cheese atop, bung it on a palette and shift it briefly into the hot kiln with your fork-lift truck. And that’s it, although I sometimes allot a sleet of diced pancetta to the dish prior to firing. And other times I can’t be bothered with the bread, and just lap the hot molten curd from the floorboards like a ravenous ocelot.
Mrs Beeton: Bake 2 loaves bread. Slice thinly 4lb strong Cheese and toast over a hot fire.
Delia Smith: A lot of people are scared of cooking cheese on toast, but it really couldn’t be simpler. Firstly, you should buy some cheese and bread. Remember to bring both of them home from the supermarket. Then, carefully cut both the cheese and the bread into neat slices, although you will often find nowadays that the bread is already sliced! The slices of cheese should ideally be thinner than the slices of bread. Next, put the cheese, flat side down, on the bread, grill and serve.
Nigel Slater: Nothing more begs to be fallen upon and devoured than a jagged lump of Cortina or Spinbola seared onto really crisp grilled bread. Insist on the best. I buy my cheese from Jaqueline Singe of La Moisie in Hartlepool and my bread from Stantio’s of Oban. For pity’s sake don’t use any of the crap they sell where you live. Toast the bread in a cast-iron griddle, put the cheese on top, and then mix it with four pints of cream.
Nigella Lawson: The essential trick, that will make your toast ooze with chin-dripping salty cheddariness, is to give it a quick blast in a brick kiln. (Yes, yes, I hear you whingeing about the expense, but is it really too much trouble to have a small extension built, or convert a squash court?)
Tear open a packet of yielding bread with your fingernails – sliced white is fine if you’re a working mum like me – crumble a rough handful of any old cheese atop, bung it on a palette and shift it briefly into the hot kiln with your fork-lift truck. And that’s it, although I sometimes allot a sleet of diced pancetta to the dish prior to firing. And other times I can’t be bothered with the bread, and just lap the hot molten curd from the floorboards like a ravenous ocelot.
Labels: Biting Satire, Cakes And Ale
posted by MissPrism at 12:20 pm
11 Comments:
And then there is Gordon Ramsay.
What the f**k do you mean you can't make cheese on toast. It's not difficult you morons. You take the bread, good local ingredients, and you take the cheese (be sure to make the kids watch the cows being milked before so they know where the cheese comes from). Put the cheese on the toast...it's not difficult...oh f**k me....put it under the bloody grill...serve, while watching football on the TV.
omg, love that pic.
Love the picture.
I love toasted cheese but the only recipe listed that really appeals to me is the one from Ma Beeton. (On the grounds of choice of ingredients and quantity.)
Toasted mature cheese on freshly baked + lightly toasted bread is scrumptious.
Nice tongue in cheek post though. :)
HA HA HA
I shall speak to the landlord forthwith about building us a brick oven somewhere on the property.
It takes a lot to amuse Lady Bracknell just at the moment, but Prism has excelled herself here.
(Lady Bracknell must admite that she tends to adulterate her own cheese on toast with such additions as Marmite, chilli paste, horseradish sauce, or chopped spring onions. Although not all at the same time.)
And then again, there is the obligatory Welsh Rarebit (the rarer the better when it comes to the Welsh bit, I say!). This, contrary to popular belief is merely a posh version of cheese on toast (well, what can you expect from the nation that invented custard?), avec le slice de leek pour le garnish, bien sur!
AND, lest we forget Nigella... the oozi drippiness of the soft, melted cheese creating the most wonderful sensations in the mouth as I wrap lushious full lips along the steaming, hot... etc etc (s'cuse me while I find a bag to throw up in!)
Since I had previously crawled in this blog, thought I would have a little look around while I was at it...
I love that post too.
Can't really tell for all of them but Delia Smith really sounds like that.
:)
*bugger off to make cheese on toast*
I laughed!
guthrie
*chortles heartily*
Haha, fabulous. And you made me really want cheese on toast!
I'm sure there could be a Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall (River cottage) variation, and of course Jamie Oliver with a ton of parmesan and extra virgin olive oil.
That's very funny... more chef parodies please!
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