Not What I Should Have Been Writing
I saw a chap very self-consciously carrying a bag today, so this popped into my head. To the tune of "My Guy".
Nothing you could say could make me throw away my manbag!
Nothing you could shout could make me go without my manbag!
I'm clinging to my bag everywhere, every minute
but the things that are in it are not effem-in-ate
So there's no need to posit
That I'm in the closet with my bag.
No girly stuff is ever good enough for my bag
No brush or comb will ever find a home in in my bag
It's all full up with macho thingies,
Like chainsaws, nails and rubber dinghies
So I'm never scared
Of being ill-prepared with my bag.
I'm equipped for any incident, I'm up to the task
I've got a rope ladder and a chemical mask
A thermos flask, some paraffin
Three pit bulls and a bottle of gin!
I've a signal flare and another spare in my bag
I've a parachute and some hobnailed boots in my bag
The fabric may be under stress,
But I might one day need formal dress
So there's a white bow tie
Beneath the big pork pie in my bag.
No manicure set has got a chance to get in my bag
There's a false moustache and a wad of cash in my bag
No handkerchief to blow my nose
because a real man don't need one of those
There's not a danger zone
I couldn't face alone with my bag.
There's not a twist of fate
I don't anticipate with my bag.
No matter what you say,
you'll never take away my manbag.
Nothing you could say could make me throw away my manbag!
Nothing you could shout could make me go without my manbag!
I'm clinging to my bag everywhere, every minute
but the things that are in it are not effem-in-ate
So there's no need to posit
That I'm in the closet with my bag.
No girly stuff is ever good enough for my bag
No brush or comb will ever find a home in in my bag
It's all full up with macho thingies,
Like chainsaws, nails and rubber dinghies
So I'm never scared
Of being ill-prepared with my bag.
I'm equipped for any incident, I'm up to the task
I've got a rope ladder and a chemical mask
A thermos flask, some paraffin
Three pit bulls and a bottle of gin!
I've a signal flare and another spare in my bag
I've a parachute and some hobnailed boots in my bag
The fabric may be under stress,
But I might one day need formal dress
So there's a white bow tie
Beneath the big pork pie in my bag.
No manicure set has got a chance to get in my bag
There's a false moustache and a wad of cash in my bag
No handkerchief to blow my nose
because a real man don't need one of those
There's not a danger zone
I couldn't face alone with my bag.
There's not a twist of fate
I don't anticipate with my bag.
No matter what you say,
you'll never take away my manbag.
Labels: Doggerel
posted by MissPrism at 12:25 PM
15 Comments:
"THREE PIT BULLS AND A BOTTLE OF GIN"
(Emphasis added while screaming with laughter.)
Fantastic.
It ain't no drag,
'Cos Papa's got a brand new bag ...
Hmm. Can't pull the melody up -- I'll just hope that Doghorse and Eclectech can....
Loveley. Simply lovely. I *do* hope someone records it. Hint, hint, hint...
I am always happy to see verse when your blog loads.
Splendid as ever Miss P!
love it!
*snort*
"effem-in-ate"
Genius!
Only wusses have manbags, real men have rucsacs. With lots of external pockets!
guthrie
splendiferous !
I'll never get to sleep now-- I'll be far too busy giggling like a loon. Thank goodness I don't have to be up early.
Oh thank you. Except of course I'll be humming and snapping my fingers all night.
Ha ha ha ha
Corking.
Simply marvellous. :-D
I'm with you, Sara - my coffee went down the wrong pipe and fountained out my nose - "three pit bulls and a bottle of gin"! This was shaping up to another boring day, but NO MORE!
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