Almost exactly this happened
(Sound of ringing telephone)
Female Voice: Upper Middle Class Department Store, Jemima speaking, how may I help you?
Me: Hello, my name's Dr Laetitia Prism. I bought a blender at your shop yesterday but I forgot to take it home and left it by the tills like a dozy bint.
FV: Ah.
Me: And I wondered if it was maybe still there or something?
FV: Hold on a minute (lots of beeping) No, there's nothing by the tills, so for all I know you're lying and want a free blender. However, our customers wouldn't do that sort of thing, so do you want a free blender?
Me: Oh yes, that would be nice.
FV: Just to make sure you're one of us, how many types of cooking oil do you have?
Me: Er... five?
FV: Splendid. Just pop to the store this afternoon, and provided you don't look poor we'll hand it over. (Air kiss) Byee!
Female Voice: Upper Middle Class Department Store, Jemima speaking, how may I help you?
Me: Hello, my name's Dr Laetitia Prism. I bought a blender at your shop yesterday but I forgot to take it home and left it by the tills like a dozy bint.
FV: Ah.
Me: And I wondered if it was maybe still there or something?
FV: Hold on a minute (lots of beeping) No, there's nothing by the tills, so for all I know you're lying and want a free blender. However, our customers wouldn't do that sort of thing, so do you want a free blender?
Me: Oh yes, that would be nice.
FV: Just to make sure you're one of us, how many types of cooking oil do you have?
Me: Er... five?
FV: Splendid. Just pop to the store this afternoon, and provided you don't look poor we'll hand it over. (Air kiss) Byee!
Labels: Biting Satire, Self-Absorption
posted by MissPrism at 7:59 am
3 Comments:
tag when you have time/if you're interested
When I left a bag or two at the grocery store, they had actually put them aside and I retrieved them by saying what was in them and showing my receipt. So that was fine with me. The trouble is, there are people who will try to get away with things... and it makes the rest of who like to play fair feel guilty when we've been absent-minded.
Did they give you your blender?
Yep, they handed it over. I made a blueberry meringue pie. Rrrr!
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