I told you Canada was a sensible place.

Q Transmissions, a Canadian skeptical radio show, is holding a contest! Record yourself singing these lyrics and you could achieve FAME and a PRIZE.

As some commenters have pointed out, the scansion is dodgy in parts and I couldn't be arsed to think of many three-syllable rhymes. But if you are not completely satisfied, you can have your money back! Here, just peel it off the screen:

I suggest you spend it on reading the first chapter of a swashbuckling adventure story.