28 March 2008

Charlotte Green

Though giggling fits
During people's obits
Might anger some friends of the dearly departed,
I think that no mortal
Could stifle a chortle
On hearing a noise like a hornet that farted.

At least it was only one person's obituary and he died of old age. Could have been a lot worse, I reckon.

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27 March 2008

Sick Transits and all that

I just realised how many years old my angel photo was, so I changed it. It was fun while it lasted though. Weirdly, for a while it was the very first Google Images search result for my first name, of which I was immensely proud even though I had no bloody idea how it happened.
I still have the tinsel false eyelashes in my make-up box, but I get annoyingly few excuses to wear them.

24 March 2008

Bank Holiday Quackery Singalong


Inspiration in equal parts from Bad Science and Piggy Moo.

Listen, you slobs
Lying on your settees,
Guzzling chips and cheese
Guess what's gonna happen to you!
Listen, you blobs,
I've an alternative
Do as I say if you want to live!

Swallow up your beetroot juice
'Til your face goes red
Take good care of yourself
Or you'll drop down dead.

Stay away from MMR
Get the mumps instead
Take good care of yourself
Or you'll drop down dead.

So take your fish oil pill (Woo-oo)
Chlorophyll (Woo-oo)
Can't get ill (Woo-oo)
Not if you don't accumulate toxins!

Stick a magnet up your nose
When you go to bed
Take good care of yourself
Or you'll drop down dead.

Never have a pint of beer
Or a slice of bread
Take good care of yourself
Or you'll drop down dead.

Try a horny goatweed bar
With some tofu spread
Take good care of yourself
Or you'll drop down dead.

So boost your energy (Woo-oo)
Drink green tea (Woo-oo)
Work that Chi (Woo-oo)
Don't let the stress imbalance your chakras!

Never hold your mobile phone
Near your ears or head
Take good care of yourself
Or you'll drop down dead.

Eat algae every day (Woo-oo)
Get feng shui (Woo-oo)
Dead sea clay (Woo-oo)
and Goji berries make you immortal!

Stick a hosepipe up your bum
In the garden shed
Take good care of yourself
Or you'll drop down dead.

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19 March 2008

Some Excellent reads for Easter


I've been putting this off because I hated to pick ten, but I'm not going to finish the pair of socks I'm knitting in time to blog'em this week, I'm not going to get round to photographing the Lunchy Beetroot Salad* I made in response to Lady Bracknell and Clotilde's recent beets eats, and the only rhyming couplet about obscure animals that has snuck into my head this week is
Anyone who fails to appreciate the sleek, athletic beauty of the fossa
Is a tossa
.

So here goes.
  • Other people have been avoiding tagging Seed's Sciencebloggers, but I'm making an exception for See Jane Compute 'cos she's new over there and she rocks.
  • Lab Cat's science-and-food-and-knitting blog always makes me happy, and sometimes a little jealous.
  • Endogenous Retrovirus works on Very Cool Science.
  • Acmegirl has a thoughtful and thought-provoking blog which I found via comments at Zuska's.
  • Right back atcha Nunatak. (Nominating someone who nominated you is fine if they have more than one blog. That's the rules I've just made up.)
  • Straying from science, Separated By A Common Language is fun, as well as being a very handy resource for pond-crossers and their friendsandrelations.
  • Randomspeak wins a special award for having the best pictures.
  • Vorare is entertainingly whimsical.
  • Baking For Britain makes me feel all patriotic like.
  • EnchantingJuno comes across as a lovely person and I hope she gets back to Clever Knitting soon.
*But if you're interested: 6 smallish beetroot, roasted, peeled and diced; 2 raw carrots, peeled and grated; 50g dried apricots, chopped; 200g Puy lentils, boiled and drained; a handful of coriander leaves, chopped; 2 raw shallots, chopped very finely; salt, pepper, lemon juice and walnut oil to taste. Healthful and delicious and BRIGHT PINK and springlike! Plus, an old, small and not so rigorously controlled study suggests it might help diagnose anaemia.

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10 March 2008

Vocabulary

A gavial's a reptile that eats fishes for its dinner;
It's like an alligator, but its snout is rather thinner.
A gavel is a special kind of little wooden hammer
Which a Speaker bangs the table with to silence any clamour.
The likeness of the words can be confusing to the layman,
But a gavel's like a mallet, and a gavial, a caiman.

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07 March 2008

Friday afternoon whimsy

05 March 2008

The importance of being E.


Thanks so much for the tag, CAE and nunatak! I'll make my nominations soon. But now for something completely different...

I once reviewed a self-help book about how to be taken seriously as an intellectual woman. Along with some advice along the lines of “read books” and “think about stuff”, its author suggested avoiding feminine topics of conversation like pets and recipes, giving up make-up, cutting long hair, and dropping the tone of your voice by half an octave.

Later, I met a laryngologist who said that many of her patients are successful women in male-dominated professions who’ve damaged their vocal folds by forcing a Thatcher growl out of a naturally soprano throat. The laryngologist suggested that women with high-pitched voices who want to sound authoritative should instead practise for fifteen minutes a day until
they
learn
to
speak
more
slowly.

I was reminded of these things when I read a post by Zuska about the advantages of double-blind peer review. Just like, when auditioning for an orchestra, a woman violinist will be perceived as playing more competently if she’s behind a curtain, journals which conceal the identity of authors as well as reviewers tend to publish more papers by women. Hence some advice which I’ve heard from a few different places: don’t use your first name if it identifies you as female. Use something unisex like Pat or Sam if you can, but otherwise stick to initials.

Now, I don’t for a second blame an individual scientist for being Chris rather than Christina on her manuscript, because she’s got her ambitions and should pursue them as she sees best. And look at me, blogging about pets and recipes under a pseudonym, but sitting quietly through conversations about football at conferences*. Still, I’m uneasy with all of this kind of advice, because it’s the kind that helps an individual at the expense of the group.

If a few of us go by our initials, we benefit from sexism rather than doing anything to stop it. If all of us do it, it stops benefiting anyone. Initials will soon be interpreted as female names, and if we all sound or dress less girlie we narrow the range of what’s acceptable, and before we know it we’re wearing false moustaches and the world’s no fairer. Something other than us needs to change here, as of course Zuska knows well and explains frequently.

*Actually, we had a coffee-room chat about cooking the other day, because a male postdoc brought some homemade cakes in. See, that’s the kind of thing that makes the world fairer. Men! Bake for equality! Or just for cakes, they’re good too.

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